Terry Pratchett Quotes

And what had he wanted? He'd never sat down to think about it. But mostly, he wanted yesterday to be different from today.

And when in doubt, take all your clothes off,' said Caleb. 'What for?' 'Sign of a good berserk, taking all your clothes off. Frightens the hell out of the enemy. If anyone starts laughing, stab 'em on...

And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to beliving in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely gotyou invited to the very best social occasions.

Ankh-Morpork! Pearl of cities! This is not a completely accurate description, of course — it was not round and shiny — but even its worst enemies would agree that if you had to liken Ankh-Morpork to a...

Apes had it worked out. No ape would philosophize, The mountain is, and is not. They would think, The banana is. I will eat the banana. There is no banana. I want another banana.

As far as Death was aware, the sole reason for any human association with pigs and lambs was as a prelude to chops and sausages. Quite why they should dress up for children’s wallpaper as well was a m...

Cats will amusingly tolerate humans only until someone comes up with a tin opener that can be operated with a paw.

Don’t get your knickers in a knot just yet, Tiff,’ she said briskly. ‘It won’t solve anything an’ will just make you walk odd.

Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

Even with nougat, you can have a perfect moment.

Every organization needs at least one person who knows what's going on, and why it's happening, and who's doing it.

Everything is magic when you don’t know what it is. Your sliding rule is a magic wand to most people.

First Sight means you can see what really is there, and Second Thoughts mean thinking about what you are thinking. And in Tiffany's case, there were sometimes Third Thoughts and Fourth Thoughts althou...

Fixing things together. Empathy and cooperation – good Buddhist principles, by the way. Fixing a flawed creation so that it can nurture life and mind, for ever – even beyond the end of time, perhaps.

Good or bad, do it as you. Too many lies and there's no truth to go back to.

Granny Weatherwax looked out at the multi-layered, silvery world. Where am I? INSIDE THE MIRROR. Am I dead? THE ANSWER TO THAT, said Death, IS SOMEWHERE BETWEEN NO AND YES. Esme turned, and a billion...

Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else...

Granny bit her lip. She was never quite certain about children, thinking of them - when she thought about them at all – as coming somewhere between animals and people. She understood babies. You put m...

Granny’s implicit belief that everything should get out of her way extended to other witches, very tall trees and, on occasion, mountains.

Greebo turned upon Granny Weatherwax a yellow-eyed stare of self-satisfied malevolence, such as cats always reserve for people who don’t like them, and purred. Greebo was possibly the only cat who cou...