Terry Pratchett Quotes

In an instant he became aware that the tourist was about to try his own peculiar brand of linguistics, which meant that he would speak loudly and slowly in his own language.

In a well-organized world he might have landed on a fire escape, but the fire escapes were unknown in Ankh-Morpork and the flames generally had to leave via the roof.

He'd never asked for an exciting life. What he really liked, what he sought on every occasion, was boredom. The trouble was that boredom tended to explode in your face. Just when he thought he'd found...

If failure had no penalty success would not be a prize.

They were indeed what was known as 'old money', which meant that it had been made so long ago that the black deeds which had originally filled the coffers were now historically irrelevant. Funny, that...

I would like you to teach [the orcs] civilised behaviour, said Ladyship coldly.He appeared to consider this. Yes of course, I think that would be quite possible, he said. And who would you send to tea...

The Nac Mac Feegle (also called Pictsies, The Wee Free Men, The Little Men, and Person or Persons Unknown, Believed to be Armed)

I recall no arrangement, Mau, no bargain, covenant, agreement or promise. There is what happens, and what does not happen. There is no 'should

People ought to think for themselves... The problem is, people only think for themselves if you tell them to. (Corporal Carrot)

The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?

He said that there was death and taxes, and taxes was worse, because at least death didn’t happen to you every year.

There is always a choice. You mean I could choose certain death? A choice nevertheless, or perhaps an alternative. You see I believe in freedom. Not many people do, although they will of course protes...

Greebo had spent an irritating two minutes in that box. Technically, a cat locked in a box may be alive or it may be dead. You never know until you look. In fact, the mere act of opening the box will...

Now if seen him, really there, really alive, it'd be in me like a fever. If I thought there was some god who really did care two hoots about people, who watched 'em like a father and cared for 'em li...

For her next birthday she'd asked for a telescope. Her mother had been alive then, and had suggested a pony, but her father had laughed and bought her a beautiful telescope, saying: "Of course she sho...

You know zat another term for an iconographer would be ‘photographer’? From the old word ‘photus’ in Latation, vhich means—‘To prance around like an idiot ordering everyone about as if you owned the p...

There is a plain under a dim sky. It is covered with gentle rolling curves that might remind you of something else if you saw it from a long way away, and if you did see it from a long way away you'd...

The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.

The three thieves looked around. As their eyes grew accustomed to the gloom, they received a general impression of armourality, with strong overtones of helmetness.

Ridcully was to management what King Herod was to the Bethlehem Playgroup Association.