A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.
A fellow told me one about Wembley yesterday, I said, to help on the cheery flow of conversation. Stop me if you've heard it before. Chap goes up to deaf chap outside the exhibition and says, Is this...
There occurred to me the simple epitaph which, when I am no more, I intend to have inscribed on my tombstone. It was this:He was a man who acted from the best motives. There is one born every minute.
Обнадеждена безнадеждност...
No sir," said Mr Molloy. "I'm mighty sorry I can't meet you in any way, but the fact is I'm all fixed up in Oil. Oil's my dish. I began in Oil and I'll end up in Oil. I wouldn't be happy outside of Oi...
Might almost be termed personalities, may not be familiar to a couple of dud acrobats
You don't need a hat to tax a man with stealing a pig,' said the Hon. Galahad, who was well versed in the manners and rules of good society.
The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone. You hear...
London was too big to be angry with. It took no notice of him. It did not care whether he was glad to be there or sorry, and there was no means of making it care. That is the peculiarity of London. Th...
Jeeves, Mr Little is in love with that female.So I gathered, sir. She was slapping him in the passage.I clutched my brow.Slapping him?Yes, sir. Roguishly.
It's brain, I said; pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves?No, sir.Oh, well, then, it's just a gift,...
It was not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door, but ‘twas enough—it served. Stubbing it squarely with his toe, Henry shot forward, all arms and legs. It
If you come to think of it, what a queer thing Life is! So unlike anything else, don't you know, if you see what I mean. At any moment you may be strolling peacefully along, and all the time Life's wa...
If ever there was a bloke at the very mention of whose name it would be excusable for people to tremble like aspens, that bloke is Sir Roderick Glossop. He has an enormous bald head, all the hair whic...
I will be your wife, Bertie.’ There didn’t seem much to say to this except ‘Oh, thanks.
I suppose I must be one of the neurotic younger generation you read about in the papers nowadays, because it was pretty plain within half a second that I wasn't strong and I wasn't phlegmatic.
I sank into a c. and passed an agitated h. over the b.
I don’t mind people talking rot in my presence, but it must not be utter rot.
How does he look, Jeeves?Sir?What does Mr Bassington-Bassington look like?It is hardly my place, sir, to criticize the facial peculiarities of your friends.
He's only got two sides, a bad side and a worse side,