P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

Sir Roderick Glossop, Honoria’s father, is always called a nerve specialist, because it sounds better, but everybody knows that he’s a sort of janitor to the looney-bin. I mean to say, when your uncle...

The boy is of an outspoken disposition, and had made an opprobrious remark respecting my personal appearance.What did he say about your appearance?I have forgotten, sir, said Jeeves, with a touch of a...

The thought of being engaged to a girl who talked openly about fairies being born because stars blew their noses, or whatever it was, frankly appalled me.

Then they appeared to ooze off, for all became quiet save for the lapping of the waves on the shore. And, by Jove, so sedulously did these waves lap that gradually a drowsiness crept over me and not t...

There are moments in the life of every man when the impulse attacks him to sacrifice his future to the alluring gratification of the present.

There is her sty,’ he said, pointing a reverent finger as they crossed the little meadow dappled with buttercups and daisies. ‘And that is my pigman Wellbeloved standing by it.’ Myra

To persons of spirit like ourselves the only happy marriage is that which is based on a firm foundation of almost incessant quarrelling.

Trouble, after all, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder

We do not tell old friends beneath our roof-tree that they are an offence to the eyesight.

Well, you know, there are limits to the sacred claims of friendship.

What I mean is, if you're absolutely off your rocker, but don't find it convenient to be scooped into the luny-bin, you simply explain that, when you said you were a teapot, it was just your Artistic...

What magic there is in a girl's smile! It is the raisin which, dropped in the yeast of male complacency, induces fermentation.

What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two verydifferent things.

What, in your opinion, will the harvest be?One finds it difficult to hazard a conjecture, sir.You mean imagination boggles?Yes, sir.I inspected my imagination. He was right. It boggled.

When Cynthia smiles, said young Bingo, the skies are blue; the world takes on a roseate hue; birds in the garden trill and sing, and Joy is king of everything, when Cynthia smiles. He coughed, changin...

You can’t tell me if there are any special subjects to avoid when talking to him, can you?’ ‘Special subjects?’ ‘Well, you know how it is with a stranger. You say it’s a fine day, and he goes all whit...

You should have seen him. Such a kind smile. He said you would be delighted to help me.’ ‘He did, eh?’ ‘He spoke most highly of you.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Oh, yes, he thinks a lot of you. I remember his very wo...

You won't mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I've just become a socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you...

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

Your aunt is the dearest woman in the world, and nobody could be fonder of her than I am, but I sometimes find her presence … what is the word I want … restrictive. She holds, as you know, peculiar vi...