“ HELEN You, too, Tom. You’re a good man. (Kisses him back.) Good and strong and brave and … ummmm … lots of nice things … TOM … mmmmmm. I love it when you talk dirty. Neil LaBute
“ First I would probably place men at the bottom of the food chain. On a grander scale, I would say they're reacting to change. Feminism has got to be part of that. Neil LaBute
“ TOM … Go on, jump in there. (Prompts her.) Be brave. HELEN You’re absolutely sure it’s dead, right? Because if it’s just holding its breath, then I’m …LaBute, Neil (2004-11-29). Fat Pig: A Play (p. 27… Neil LaBute
“ TOM Come on! Seriously … HELEN Okay, okay … I’m … (Beat.) You have my hand there, you know. TOM Yeah, I … is that not …? HELEN It’s fine. Just wanted to ask and see if it was an accident or not. TOM U… Neil LaBute
“ I'm more than open to hope, but I think men and women have a difficult time dealing with each other and often take the low road. Neil LaBute
“ See, we been doing things wrong for so long now that it all starts to feel okay after a while, you know, like this is how it oughta be. Neil LaBute
“ But sometimes you can go along, years even, and not feel like you’re growing up at all, and then there’s times when you age a ton, like, in a couple ’a seconds, you know? Neil LaBute
“ What the fuck do I mean? I mean . . . (Beat.) Well, I, shit, I dunno! But you see what I’m getting at, don’t you? Neil LaBute
“ WAITRESS 1 Actually, the last thing I want is to be alone, but . . . the other last thing is to be with someone. Neil LaBute
“ TOM Old people, though? Come on. We’re all gonna age. It’s … CARTER Not me. I hope I’m a goner before then. The elderly make me sick … Neil LaBute
“ Things get worked through…or work themselves through, we probably don’t have all that much to do with it. we like to think we do, though, right? Neil LaBute
“ WRITER Right, but no offense, you guys eat dogs for lunch and many of us in the West here find that disgusting, so . . . ACTOR I’m not Korean, you prick! I’m of Chinese descent but I was born in Idaho… Neil LaBute
“ WOMAN Really? Handsome guy like you and that’s all you’re good for … to look at? MAN Pretty much. WOMAN Good to know. (Opens a pudding.) You want one? MAN Nah, I shouldn’t … WOMAN Why? MAN Excellent q… Neil LaBute
“ WAITRESS 2 Then, the topper . . . an elbow to the ribs . . . Hey, you make it? Really sensitive, like we’ve got a fucking recipe for an orgasm! Neil LaBute
“ CARTER Come on, be honest! The thing they represent that’s so scary is what we could be, how vulnerable we all are. I mean, any of us. Some wrong gene splice, a bad backflip off the trampoline … too m… Neil LaBute
“ WRITER So, go on then, get all smart about it—can you deny what I’m saying? Huh? Jesus was not some . . . Indonesian guy! He just wasn’t. ACTOR I’m not Indonesian! Jesus Christ! Neil LaBute
“ JEANNIE It’s not like she’s … She’s really fat, Tom! A fat sow and you know it. I can tell you’re aware by the way you’re acting, which is really the puzzling part … TOM I-like-her. End of story. Neil LaBute
“ What’s the South African thing that I always mix up with apathy? (Thinks.) Apartheid! That wasn’t me, so just get down off your high horse, okay? Neil LaBute
“ Are you in here for an actual reason? CARTER Pretty much. I don’t remember what it is, but I’m sure I had one when I started down the hall … TOM Perfect. CARTER Oh, yeah, now I recall . Because I was… Neil LaBute
“ Maybe that's what Hell is, in the end. All of your wrongful shit played out there in front of you while you're being pumped from behind by someone you've hurt. That you've screwed over in life. Or wor… Neil LaBute
