Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be.
Hey! Jack the Wanker! Over here! I want your autograph!
He was the closest thing she had to a pony.
Some nutter's gone and pulled a Jack the Ripper.
I guess life is full of maybes.
Ah, he said. I had an . . . artistic disagreement with the director of the panto. As it happens, I take issue with the objectification of women in Cinderella, and the reliance on shoes as a means of i...
I'm Keith, he said, and you're . . . clearly mad, but what's your name?
Anxiety and excitement are cousins; they can be mistaken for each other at points. They have many features in common—the bubbling, carbonated feel of the emotion, the speed, the wide eyes and racing h...
Prefects. I had learned this one. Student council types, but with superpowers. They who must be obeyed.
Nowhere was good. Except with Eric. He had both perfumed and poisoned her entire world.
Life is always going to be a series of ouch-making moments, and the question was, was I going to go all fetal position, or was I going to woman up? I went into fetal position on the bed to think about...
When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.
What tinfoil? he asked.
She firmly held the theory that everyone gets at least one very stupid superpower.
I'm the last of the mad ones.
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear.
Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.
The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs.
It was clearly one of those mornings when I was particularly American.
I had always liked him, but it never occurred to me to like him, like him.