The look he was going for was Friendly Suburban Dad, because that’s what he was, but he suspected he’d achieved onlyCialis Guy.
See the child, not the cancer. Then you’ll be happy when you visit, not sad.
Please, detective, you were saying.
Or we can go upstairs and play with the laughing gas. The dentist tells me he does nitrous with the hygienist.
Lawyers can't lie, officially. Only Congress.
Just choose the people you love wisely. They have to deserve you.
Jake thanked God he had a son to put to bed when he knew somewhere there was a family, right now, waiting for someone who would never come home.
I’ve learned that you don’t stop loving someone just because they die. And you don’t stop loving someone who’s dead just because you start loving someone else. I know this violates the natural law tha...
If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
His fee was $300 an hour, andfor clients who couldn’t afford that, he had a sliding scale that wasnever less than $250— except for crying old ladies facing terminaldiagnoses.
He turned away, walked to the kitchen, and stopped at the threshold. The bloodstain was still there, and even if he replaced the floorboards, he would always know it had been there. He had seen her st...
Good people can’t imagine evil. It catches us by surprise, and it always will.
Do you know what they call people who hoard books? Smart.
Because the thing about love is that we can't control whether we get it, but we can control whether we give it.
Ask me if I care.
A movie theater is Switzerland of the diet world.
You should be more paranoid than you are. Your typical suburban mom worries all the time, but she worries about the wrong things.Because she doesn’t worry about me.
The Marcellus Shale is one of the largest deposits of natural gas in the country, and it’s one of the major fracking sites. In fact, the most fracking sites in the entire country are in Pennsylvania,...
I’m a sociopath. I look normal, but I’m not. I’m smarter,
It doesn’t matter who she is, it matters who you are.