Sometimes I wonder if he wasn't born dead. I never met a man who was less interested in the living. Sometimes I think that's the trouble with the world: too many people in high places who are stone-co...
Sometimes I wonder about the Creator of the Universe.
She broke my heart. I didn't like that much. But that was the price. In this world, you get what you pay for.
Oh, a sleeping drunkardUp in Central Park,And a lion-hunterIn the jungle dark,And a Chinese dentist, And a British queen--All fit together In the same machine. Nice, nice, very nice;Nice, nice, very n...
No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.
I chose cultural anthropology, since it offered the greatest opportunity to write high-minded balderdash.
All time is all time. It does not change. It does not lend itself to warnings or explanations. It simply is. Take it moment by moment, and you will find that we are all, as I've said before, bugs in a...
You know what truth is? [...] It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he believes. He tells me, and I say, Yeah, yeah - ain't it the truth?
You hate America, don't you?'That would be as silly as loving it,' I said. 'It's impossible for me to get emotional about it, because real estate doesn't interest me. It's no doubt a great flaw in my...
Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.
There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, I said, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too.
The heartbreaking necessity of lying about reality and the heartbreaking impossibilty of lying about it
The German philosopher Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche, who had syphilis, said that only a person of deep faith could afford the luxury of religious skepticism. Humanists, by and large educated, comfortab...
That there are such devices as firearms, as easy to operate as cigarette lighters and as cheap as toasters, capable at anybody's whim of killing Father or Fats or Abraham Lincoln or John Lennon or Mar...
That is the first thing I know for sure: (1.) If the questions don't make sense, neither will the answers.
Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.
JOE HELLERTrue story, Word of Honor: Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer now dead, and I were at a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island.I said, Joe, how does it make you feel to kno...
If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
I don't reveal to her that I love her. I keep poker faced. She might as well be looking at a cantaloupe, there is so little information in my face, but my heart is beating.