Your driving is unpleasant, but it isn't technically unsafe.
You're amazing, and I so want to be your boyfriend, because of what you just said, and also because that shirt makes me want to take you home and do unspeakable things while we watch live-action Sailo...
You and me will read a book and find three interesting things that we remember. But Colin finds everything intriguing. He reads a book about presidents and he remembers more of it because everything h...
Yeah, Pudge is adorable / but you want incorrigible / so Jake is more endurable / 'cause he's so - damn. Damn. I almost had four rhymes on adorable. But all I could think of was unfloorable, which isn...
Without Pain, How Could We Know Joy?
When you're on a Ferris wheel all anyone ever talks about is being on the Ferris wheel and the view from the Ferris wheel and whether the Ferris wheel is scary and how many more times it will go aroun...
What's that?The laundry basket?No, next to it.I don't see anything next to it.It's my last shred of dignity. It's very small.
What the hell is ? Nothing is instant. Instant rice takes five minutes, instant pudding an hour. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain particularly instantaneous.
What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.
We just sat there quiet for a long time, which was fine, and I was thinking about way back in the very beginning in the Literal Heart of Jesus...
We fell. We got up. We ran.
We didn't have sex. We never got naked. I never touched her bare breast, and her hands never got lower than my hips. It didn't matter. As she slept, I whispered, I love you, Alaska Young.
We are as indestructible as we believe ourselves to be.
Tobin, Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, Guy wal...
Tiny takes a shot, grimaces, and exhales. Tastes like Satan’s fire cock, Tiny says, and then pushes another shot in my direction. Sounds delightful, I say, but I’ll pass.
Tiny Cooper is not the world's gayest person, and he is not the world's largest person, but I believe he may be the world's largest person who is really, really gay, and also the world's gayest person...
There's your labyrinth of suffering. We are all going. Find your way out of that maze.
There's a stark difference between the words 'prodigy' and 'genius.' Prodigies can very quickly learn what other people have already figured out; geniuses discover that which no one has ever previousl...
There are times when it is appropriate, even preferable, to get an erection when someone's face is in close proximity to your penis.This was not one of those times.
The pathetic thing I wanted to say to him on the phone – but didn’t – was this: When you're a little kid, you have something. Maybe it's a blanket or a stuffed animal or whatever. For me, it was this...