John Fowles Quote

I’ve been sitting here and thinking about God. I don’t think I believe in God any more. It is not onlyme, I think of all the millions who must have lived like this in the war. The Anne Franks. And backthrough history. What I feel I know now is that God doesn’t intervene. He lets us suffer. If you pray forliberty then you may get relief just because you pray, or because things happen anyhow which bringyou liberty. But God can’t hear. There’s nothing human like hearing or seeing or pitying or helpingabout him. I mean perhaps God has created the world and the fundamental laws of matter andevolution. But he can’t care about the individuals. He’s planned it so some individuals are happy,some sad, some lucky, some not. Who is sad, who is not, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care. So hedoesn’t exist, really.These last few days I’ve felt Godless. I’ve felt cleaner, less muddled, less blind. I still believe in aGod. But he’s so remote, so cold, so mathematical. I see that we have to live as if there is no God.Prayer and worship and singing hymns—all silly and useless.I’m trying to explain why I’m breaking with my principles (about never committing violence). It isstill my principle, but I see you have to break principles sometimes to survive. It’s no good trustingvaguely in your luck, in Providence or God’s being kind to you. You have to act and fight foryourself.The sky is absolutely empty. Beautifully pure and empty.As if the architects and builders would live in all the houses they built! Or could live in them all. It’sobvious, it stares you in the face. There must be a God and he can’t know anything about us.