Irvin D. Yalom Quote
I had helped him understand that he had lost sight of his personal boundaries. It is natural, I had told him, that one should respond adversely to an attack on one’s central core—after all, in that situation one’s very survival is at stake. But I had pointed out that Carlos had stretched his personal boundaries to encompass his work and, consequently, he responded to a mild criticism of any aspect of his work as though it were a mortal attack on his central being, a threat to his very survival. I had urged Carlos to differentiate between his core self and other, peripheral attributes or activities. Then he had to disidentify with the non-core parts: they might represent what he liked, or did, or valued—but they were not him, not his central being.
I had helped him understand that he had lost sight of his personal boundaries. It is natural, I had told him, that one should respond adversely to an attack on one’s central core—after all, in that situation one’s very survival is at stake. But I had pointed out that Carlos had stretched his personal boundaries to encompass his work and, consequently, he responded to a mild criticism of any aspect of his work as though it were a mortal attack on his central being, a threat to his very survival. I had urged Carlos to differentiate between his core self and other, peripheral attributes or activities. Then he had to disidentify with the non-core parts: they might represent what he liked, or did, or valued—but they were not him, not his central being.
Related Quotes
Amanda, you finally decided to answer the phone, her mom exclaimed after picking up at the first ring. Where’ve you been, what’ve you been up to?Mom, do you remember when I was a kid, I had a friend,...