“ I am a kind of joke, but the question is: which kind? My job is to keep everyone guessing. Gary Shteyngart
“ The truth is this: The rich will rule even at a place like Oberlin, where their kind is technically forbidden. They will simply invert the power structure to suit their needs. They will come out on to… Gary Shteyngart
“ My hair would continue to gray, and then one day, it would fall out entirely, and then, on a day meaninglessly close to the present one, meaninglessly like the present one, I would disappear from the… Gary Shteyngart
“ As every so-called creative spirit soon learns, the rest of the world doesn't particularly give a damn. Gary Shteyngart
“ Every moment I have ever experienced as a child is as important as every moment I am experiencing now, or will experience ever. I guess what I'm saying is that not everybody should have children. Gary Shteyngart
“ My mother is changing history. She is making her balalaika-smashing mother into a heroine. Does she want me to do the same for her? Is that what good children do for their parents? What about good wri… Gary Shteyngart
“ I write because there is nothing as joyful as writing, even when the writing is twisted and full of hate, the self-hate that makes writing not only possible but necessary. I hate myself, I hate the pe… Gary Shteyngart
“ Reading is difficult. People just aren't meant to read anymore. We're in a post-literate age. You know, a visual age. How many years after the fall of Rome did it take for a Dante to appear? Many, man… Gary Shteyngart
“ In contravention of my belief that any life ending in death is essentially pointless, I needed my friends to open up that plastic bag and take one last look at me. Someone had to remember me, if only… Gary Shteyngart
“ In America, the distance between wanting something and having it delivered to your living room is not terribly great. Gary Shteyngart
“ She folds the pages of the books she reads when she wants to remember something important. Her favorite books are accordions, testaments to an endless search for meaning. Gary Shteyngart
“ In the first few pages, Kundera discusses several abstract historical figures: Robespierre, Nietzsche, Hitler. For Eunice's sake, I wanted him to get to the plot, to introduce actual "living" characte… Gary Shteyngart
