Not being funny doesn’t make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humor does.
But even this gives rise to another central tenet, attendant to the Comedy Is Good myth: Comedy Is Hard. Certainly well-rendered comedy is hard. All things done well require practice and work. But for...
One day Satan himself visits, along with his great-grandmother—who is, not surprisingly, a total fucking bitch.
With no small remorse, she thought, He and his messBetter not come near this fabulous dress.
The logic underlying the truism that one should always travel on a plane with a book is also precisely why bed-and-breakfast culture is to be avoided if at all possible. Namely, you might have to talk...
It must be murder to be an aging beauty, a former Tadzio, to see your future as an ignored spectator rushing up to meet you like the hard pavement. What a small sip of gall to be able to time with eac...
When medicine is socialized, when you have true universal health care, when everyone's treatment is the same regardless of socioeconomic station, those strong-arming attitudes of entitlement just aren...
No secrets, no longing, no desperate hopingJust reach out and grab from a world cracked open.
Childrens ilogic can be an exquisitelystructured mistake.
There is nothing so cleansing or reassuring as a vicarious sadness.
One day reach idealization;after all, it's the journey, not the destination.
Maybe there is some solace to be derived in that: bacchanal or funeral, after enough time, the detritus looks the same.
Lying flat against the tile of the kitchen floor listening to someone else have sex is essentially my early twenties in a nutshell.
Can we pause for a moment to talk about that term, Innovention? A neologism that, in an effort to turbo-charge meaning, takes two perfectly eloquent and unassailable words and by combining them render...
We have become an army of multiply chemically sensitive, high-maintenance princesses trying to make our way through a world full of irksome peas.
There is supercomputer somewhere in the Nevada desert whose sole function is to count the number of times that I have said the following, because it is unquantifiable by human minds at this point, but...
The only thing that makes one an artist is making art. And that requires the precise opposite of hanging out; a deeply lonely and unglamorous task of tolerating oneself long enough to push something o...
It was turning out to be an anxious Christmas season. Too many were the early mornings spent sitting at the table, insomniac in the gray dawn, thinking to myself, Eggs would be good. Not for eating bu...
If all of the money was gone from my life,Would you still love me? a man asks his wife.Of course, she replies. Come here, let me kiss you.I'll love you forever, but would I miss you!
I like everything, I replied, feeling misrepresented and only half amused right back. I don't hate the world. I'm scared of it. There's a difference.