Viridithol, I said, my blood running cold as I pieced the story together. You reckless, dumb sons of bitches. You put samples of plant life from another fucking dimension in a drug and fed it to pregn...
Security? I asked. Like the Chippendales Nadine brought with her? I’m not kidding, Royce, I think those guys are off-duty strippers. I hope you’re not paying her a consultation fee. Royce arched one e...
Alchemist’s…clay? What is that? It’s a special kind of clay, I said. And it won’t set off the metal detectors? I stared at him through the slot. No, I said. Because it’s clay.
Seems to me you’ve got two choices: one, you can get in a gunfight with the United States government—because that always ends well—or you can run downstairs, get as many of your boys out through the e...
Not always true. In ’08, that was the first and only year we played Monopoly. Four people died.
I’d never broken into a cemetery before. There’s a first time for everything.
Why are you whispering? I’m on the roof of an evil flower shop, and I don’t want to get shot. That sort of answer, he said, really shouldn’t surprise me anymore.
Most modern cell phones have a built-in GPS chip, even if you don’t have any kind of GPS software. Allegedly to make it easier for emergency services to find you when you dial 911. Allegedly? Caitlin...
There are some sounds, and some languages, that are so alien to our nature that the human brain naturally rebels at them. You’d think we’d take that as a hint. Caitlin? I managed to stammer, the rest...
You mean, she said, do I want to go and hunt the Bogeyman in the dark? Why, I’d be ever so delighted. Let’s roll.
You killed a buddy of mine, back at the shelter. Yeah? What about the other three guys I killed? You didn’t like them as much? That shut him up, at least. The elevator door whispered open. Jennifer an...
I’d rather be hopeful and wrong than jaded and right.
Now you’ve brought him in for a burglary that, unless I’m mistaken, didn’t actually take place. He was in the process of breaking into the building, she said. We caught him in the act. Somehow, his sm...
He was a rogue agent, acting without my prince’s sanction. Also, we wrote a letter of apology. Don’t know what else you want from us. That’s funny, I said. I didn’t get one. Did you send it to my old...
He was convinced that he could steal a human’s life force, drain their soul dry, and use that power to turn himself into the Garden’s conduit and master. It was very trial and error, though. Several h...
Hey, Nadine? I said. She glanced my way. I normally have strong objections to hitting a woman, I said, but if you talk to my girlfriend like that again, I could see myself getting over it real fast.
Sunrise came like a stampede of bulls, kicking me out of bed and into the shower as my mind lurched into high gear.
That kind? How many kinds of zombies are there? There’s the kind that eat people, the kind that don’t eat people… Margaux’s voice trailed off as she thought it over. Two. Two kinds. Plenty of variatio...
His eyes bulged. How the hell…who are you people? She’s the right hand of a demon prince, I told him, and I’m her boyfriend. Probably should have found that out before you blasted me with a fire hose,...
His gaze slid from her headscarf to her glass of club soda. Still pretending to be a Muslim? Hey, Damien, Freddie said, still pretending to be a man? Dances-with-Knives, a pleasure as always. He lower...
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