Craig Schaefer Quotes

Why are you whispering? I’m on the roof of an evil flower shop, and I don’t want to get shot. That sort of answer, he said, really shouldn’t surprise me anymore.

I smiled. Hey, ‘Eve,’ I said. Think you’ve got some uninvited guests. Now they were on three monitors. Teams of men in uniform black, huddled down behind riot shields, forcing their way into the Encla...

That kind? How many kinds of zombies are there? There’s the kind that eat people, the kind that don’t eat people… Margaux’s voice trailed off as she thought it over. Two. Two kinds. Plenty of variatio...

I explained Crime 101 to the kid. Guns escalate things. They’re only good for crowd control. We’re going in after closing hours, so we don’t need crowd control. Yeah, Augie said, but what about securi...

Alchemist’s…clay? What is that? It’s a special kind of clay, I said. And it won’t set off the metal detectors? I stared at him through the slot. No, I said. Because it’s clay.

His gaze slid from her headscarf to her glass of club soda. Still pretending to be a Muslim? Hey, Damien, Freddie said, still pretending to be a man? Dances-with-Knives, a pleasure as always. He lower...

You know the Honeydew? It’s a no-tell motel that rents by the hour, and the management has a permanent case of cash-induced amnesia.

There was a modern family for you. Demon mom, human dad, cambion kid. Just like Caitlin and me, minus the kid and the wedding rings. Wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

Hey, Nadine? I said. She glanced my way. I normally have strong objections to hitting a woman, I said, but if you talk to my girlfriend like that again, I could see myself getting over it real fast.

He was convinced that he could steal a human’s life force, drain their soul dry, and use that power to turn himself into the Garden’s conduit and master. It was very trial and error, though. Several h...

It wasn’t…it wasn’t anything personal, he finally said. Funny, I told him. When somebody tries to screw somebody else over and fails hard? That’s always the first thing out of their mouth. ‘It was onl...

Now you’ve brought him in for a burglary that, unless I’m mistaken, didn’t actually take place. He was in the process of breaking into the building, she said. We caught him in the act. Somehow, his sm...

You can’t take a life—good or bad, whether they’ve got it coming or not—you can’t take a life without burning out a little of the light in your heart. And you’ve only got so much light.

I looked around, my heart pounding faster, trying to spot it before it could get the jump on me. The creature was near, but the noise sounded like it was coming from everywhere at once. No, I realized...

Gandhi doesn’t pick up an AK-47, and Pixie doesn’t volunteer to splash blood on her hands.

The only thing more dangerous and unpredictable than a junkie is a junkie with a loaded gun.

You mean, she said, do I want to go and hunt the Bogeyman in the dark? Why, I’d be ever so delighted. Let’s roll.

There are some sounds, and some languages, that are so alien to our nature that the human brain naturally rebels at them. You’d think we’d take that as a hint. Caitlin? I managed to stammer, the rest...

I liked my old place, a rehabbed motel room in the shadow of the Vegas strip. Really felt like home—until a psycho half-demon pitched a Molotov cocktail through my window.

Luck comes naturally when you make it yourself.