You’re a projectionist and you’re tired and angry, but mostly you’re bored so you start by taking a single frame of pornography collected by some other projectionist that you find stashed away in the...
You're safe because you're so trapped inside your culture. Anything you can conceive of is fine because you can conceive of it.
You had a near life experience.
You get a glass tank, put it where the TV used to be, and all you get is a lizard—something sostupid that every time the maid moves a rock the lizard thinks it’s been relocated miles away.
You ever wonder when god's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?
You do the job you're trained to do. Pull a lever. Push a button. You don't understand any of it, and then you just die.
When you're thinking about the rest of your life, you're never really thinking more than a couple years down the road.
What if reality is nothing but some disease?
We’re all here. Alive and unwell.
They placed their bets with such self righteous bravado, but I’m the one who lost.
There are worse things you can do to people you love than kill them.
The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up. The
The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a...
The reason boys desire so desperately to kiss girls is because, with each kiss, the activity makes the boy’s wanger grow larger. The more girls a boy can kiss, the larger a wanger he’ll eventually pos...
The only difference between a suicide and a martyrdom really is the amount of press coverage.
The measure of a man is not what he does for wages but what he does with his free time.
The first week I was here, a girl got canned for humming an Erasure song while she was churning butter. It's like, yeah, Erasure is historic, but not historic enough.
The damaged loves the damaged.
That's the big letdown you'll notice about filming a movie: No underline music. No mood music.
Someday, I'd like to live a life based on doing good stuff instead of just not doing bad stuff.