“ Sometimes I find myself wishing that the world would end in my lifetime, since that would be oddly flattering; we’d all be part of humanity’s apex. That’s about as great an accomplishment as I can hop… Chuck Klosterman
“ One of the minor tragedies of human memory is our inability to unwatch movies we’d love to see (again) for the first time. Chuck Klosterman
“ Nothing is completely authentic. Even the guys who kill themselves are partially acting. Chuck Klosterman
“ Metaphoric sheep get no love. There’s no worse thing to be compared to, at least among conspiracy theorists. You’re just a sheep, they will say. You believe what they want you to believe. But this imp… Chuck Klosterman
“ I sometimes wonder how many hours of my life I have wasted bitching about keyboards. The use of keyboards and synthesizers is the Roe v. Wade of '80s metal. It was-without question-the lamest instrume… Chuck Klosterman
“ I have more CDs than 99 percent of America, but fewer CDs than 40 percent of my friends; if an acquaintance has more CDs than me, I feel intimidated and emasculated. I think about my CDs a lot. I find… Chuck Klosterman
“ I don’t think we have any idea who we are. I think we’re engaged in a constant battle to figure out who we are. Chuck Klosterman
“ I believe that time is like a train, with men hanging out in front of the engine and off the back of the caboose; the man in front is laying down new tracks the moment before the train touches them an… Chuck Klosterman
“ Here's in extreme example: the possibility of life after death. When considered rationally, there is no justification for believing that anything happens to anyone upon the moment of his or her death.… Chuck Klosterman
“ Her nomination for vice president in 2008 represents the most desperate inclinations of the Republican Party. In two hundred years, I suspect historians will use Palin as an example of how insane Amer… Chuck Klosterman
“ Being a sexual icon is sort of like being the front man for an Orange County punk band: As soon as you can explain why you're necessary, you're over. Chuck Klosterman
“ As of the writing of this particular book, I have 43 close friends,* 196 good friends,** and 2,200 affable acquaintances.****These are people I would phone immediately if I was diagnosed with lung can… Chuck Klosterman
“ All the world's stupidest people are either zealots or atheists. If you want to truly deduce how intelligent someone is, just ask this person how they feel about any issue that doesn't have an answer;… Chuck Klosterman
“ What those anti-cookie-baking mothers wanted me to do was turn baseball into soccer. Chuck Klosterman
“ We live in an age where virtually no content is lost and virtually all content is shared. The sheer amount of information about every current idea makes those concepts difficult to contradict, particu… Chuck Klosterman
“ Up until the mid-eighties, there was always a shared assumption that the Right controlled the currency of outrage; part of what made conservatives conservative was their discomfort with profanity and… Chuck Klosterman
“ The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist the Internet is wonderful are those who need it to give their life meaning. Chuck Klosterman
“ The Sims is an escapist vehicle for people who want to escape to where they already are, which is why I thought this game was made precisely for me. Chuck Klosterman
“ If someone publishes an essay, or tells a joke, or performs a play that forwards a problematic idea the U.S. government generally wouldn't try to stop that person from doing so. Even if they could. If… Chuck Klosterman
