Justice favors the favored sons.
I’m not scared, Daddy. I just need some crunchy Cheese Newts up in this bitch.
It's easier to keep a secret if people think you're crazy
It was watching Madeline Alby eat cheese with every ounce of her being, like it was the first and best time, that made him realize that he had never really tasted cheese, or crackers, or life. And he...
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
How would I feel if I woke up and she told me that we had done it while I slept? I’d be fine with it. A little sad that I missed things, but I wouldn’t be mad. I’d just ask her if I had a good time. W...
He’s not dumb, Biff, he just has a talent for belief.
He was continually surprised at the speed and accuracy of her creepiness. She was like some creepiness child prodigy
Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.
Die, thou badger-shagging spunk monkey, said I.
All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?
There's a shitload of insufferable know-it-all hipsters who will work for next to nothing for the privilege of condescending to customers about their musical knowledge.
The landings below the bridge were perfect alcoves for conspiracy.
Everyone looks up like rats caught in a spotlight eating the brains of a friend dead in a trap.
Down bummer, Charlie said. just chill. he didn't know if chill was an official dog command, but it should be.
Theophilus Crowe's mobile phone played eight bars of Tangled Up in Blue in an irritating electronic voice that sounded like a choir of suffering houseflies, or Jiminy Cricket huffing helium, or, well,...
The image of a well-dressed older woman making on a goopish spoonful of artificial boon spooge was running across the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare.
Privacy is a rare commodity on a small island and secrets weigh heavy on their keepers
Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live. If
On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.