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Christopher Moore Quote

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy

Christopher Moore

Which is why you chose to wear that delightful ensemble from the skank-wear collection at Hoes-n-Thangs? -Tommy

Tags: you suck

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Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, w...

Christopher Moore

Like last year I took Advance Foods class (which is like cooking for nerds) after lunch, and so I usually took a nap. Which was fine, because I'm not even thrilled about regular foods, so, you know, w...

Tags: you suck

Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention

Christopher Moore

Jody noticed that the kid was focused on the breasts, which were defying gravity, and apparently death itself, by standing there at complete attention

Tags: you suck

So, have you seen Flood? she asked. Cop? She added cop with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession

Christopher Moore

So, have you seen Flood? she asked. Cop? She added cop with a high pop on the p, like it was a punctuation mark, not a profession

Tags: you suck

Do we still have to floss? Tommy asked. I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?

Christopher Moore

Do we still have to floss? Tommy asked. I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?

Tags: you suck

Inside, I was like: Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

Christopher Moore

Inside, I was like: Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!

Tags: you suck

Then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted She Walks in Beauty, which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm f...

Christopher Moore

Then he looked at my T-shirt and saw Byron's picture on it and he quoted She Walks in Beauty, which is like my favorite poem next to the one by Baudelaire about his girlfriend being nothing but worm f...

Tags: you suck

And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby

Christopher Moore

And he was like The sedative in the blood, blah, blah, four hours, blah, blah, nerdspeak, geektalk - -Abby

Tags: you suck

Careful crossing the street, Tommy called back to her as he crossed. [Jody is drunk]Ha! Jody said. I am a finely tuned predator. I am a superbeing. I -- And at that point she bounced her forehead off...

Christopher Moore

Careful crossing the street, Tommy called back to her as he crossed. [Jody is drunk]Ha! Jody said. I am a finely tuned predator. I am a superbeing. I -- And at that point she bounced her forehead off...

Tags: you suck

I was all, Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga! (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French,...

Christopher Moore

I was all, Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now, wigga! (I am not incline to use hip-hop vernacular often, but there are times when, like French,...

Tags: you suck

She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.

Christopher Moore

She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week that it will take a team of surgeons just to get Wednesday out of your ass.

Tags: you suck