They avoided giving direct instructions: they did not say Ask somebody upstairs; they said You might want to ask somebody upstairs. When you tripped and fell, when you choked, when misfortune befell y...
They believed. They truly believed. It often came to her as a sweet shock, the knowledge that there were so many people in the world who felt exactly as she and Blaine did about Barack Obama. On
They do not doubt their presence here, these students. They believe they should be here, they have earned it and thay are paying for it. Au fond, they have bought us all. It is the key to America’s gr...
They expected certain things of her, and forgave certain things from her, because she was foreign. Once, sitting with them in a bar, she heard Curt talking to Brad, and Curt said blowhard. She was str...
They went to a fraternity house on Chestnut Street, where everyone stood around drinking vodka-rich punch from plastic cups, until Ifemelu accepted that there would be no dancing; to party here was to...
This is a modified version of a talk I delivered in December 2012 at TEDxEuston, a yearly conference focused on Africa. Speakers
This is our world, although the people who drew this map decided to put their own land on top of ours. There is no top or bottom, you see.
This is really corny but I am so full of you, it’s like I’m breathing you, you know? he had said, and she thought that the romance novelists were wrong and it was men, not women, who were the true rom...
To have money, it seemed, was to be consumed by money.
Try listening, maybe. Hear what is being said. And remember that it’s not about you.
Understanding America for the Non-American Black: American Tribalism In America, tribalism is alive and well. There are four kinds—class, ideology, region, and race. First, class. Pretty easy. Rich fo...
We have evolved. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much.
We must raise our daughters differently. We must also raise our sons differently.
We raise girls to see each other as competitors—not for jobs or accomplishments, which in my opinion can be a good thing—but for the attention of men.
We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likeable. We spend too much time telling girls th...
We teach girls shame. Close your legs. Cover yourself. We make them feel as though by being born female, they are already guilty of something.
We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We
We watch films in class, she told Obinze. They talk about films here as if films are as important as books. So we watch films and then we write a response paper and almost everybody gets an A. Can you...
What if, in raising children, we focus on ability instead of gender? What if we focus on interest instead of gender? I
What struck me – with her and with many other female American friends I have – is how invested they are in being ‘liked’. How they have been raised to believe that their being likeable is very importa...
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