I was not worried at all—it had not even occurred to me to be worried, because a man who will be intimidated by me is exactly the kind of man I would have no interest in.
I meant to say I am sorry Papa broke your figurines, but the words that came out were, ‘I’m sorry your figurines broke, Mama.
I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only’. Not ‘as long as’. I matter equally. Full stop.
I know we could accept the things we can’t be for each other, and even turn it into the poetic tragedy of our lives. Or we could act. I want to act. I want this to happen. Kosi is a good
I cannot control even the dreams that I have made.
I am trying to unlearn many lessons of gender I internalized while growing up. But I sometimes still feel vulnerable in the face of gender expectations.
How can you love somebody and yet want to manage the amount of happiness that person is allowed?
Her first love, her first lover, the only person with whom she had never felt the need to explain herself.
Her first love, her first love, the only person with whom she had never felt the need to explain herself.
He spoke so effortlessly, as if his mouth were a musical instrument that just let sound out when touched, when opened.
Encourage her to speak her mind, to say what she really thinks, to speak truthfully. And then praise her when she does. Praise her especially when she takes a stand that is difficult or unpopular beca...
But race is not biology; race is sociology. Race is not genotype; race is phenotype. Race matters because of racism. And racism is absurd because it’s about how you look. Not about the blood you have....
America’s tribalisms—race, ideology, and region—became clear.
A young Nigerian woman once told me that she had for years behaved ‘like a boy’ – she liked football and was bored by dresses – until her mother forced her to stop her ‘boyish’ interests. Now she is g...
Academics are not intellectuals; they are not curious, they build their stolid tents of specialized knowledge and stay securely in them.
it would hurt him to know she had felt that way for a while, that her relationship with him was like being content in a house but always sitting by the window and looking out.
The idea of looking shabby because you could afford not to be shabby; it mocked true shabbiness.
Smiling a smile full of things restrained
You knew you had become comfortable when you told him that you watched Jeopardy on the restaurant TV and that you rooted for the following, in this order: women of color, black men, and white women, b...
This is your opportunity! The Zed, shine your eyes! They call it a big-big name, evaluation consulting, but it is not difficult. You undervalue the properties and make sure it looks as if you are foll...