You’re a grown-up, these days. You don’t wear a kamikaze pilot’s rising sun headband and a tee-shirt that screams DEBUG THIS! and you don’t spend your weekends competing in extreme programming slams a...
Um. Oh dear. Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I don’t know. Are you thinking, goats are kind of like sheep with bad attitude? I’m not a fucking chupacabra, man.
Superman, Iron Man, Batman—Flyaway Hair winces visibly—you name it. Rich, powerful, white alpha males who dress up in gimp suits and beat up ethnically diverse lower-class criminals.
She paused, staring into the void. The void, for its part, stared back unblinking.
Reasons for cancellation order: 1. Baby-eating aquatic faerie equines do not exist.
Pay attention: There will be an exam later.
Or was it running the world’s weirdest Turing-complete variant Dungeons & Dragons campaign using a rule set isomorphic with first-order transdimensional summoning algebra—
Old Enochian running on neural wetware is not the fastest procedural language ever invented, and it’s semantics make AppleScript look like a thing of elegance and beauty
Nobody taught me how to say no when a beautiful naked woman begs me to take my clothes off.
Mug of Joe, grunts Johnny. Mocha venti with an extra shot for me, no cream, I add. Anything else? I shake my head and she wanders off. Johnny looks suspicious. Since when do you speak Starbucks? I shr...
Look. I pointed. Shin-Tethys as a whole maintains a positive trade surplus with the rest of the system. A third of the local nations don’t export directly, but there’s a lot of internal, intramural tr...
Just solving certain theorems makes waves in the Platonic over-space. Pump lots of power through a grid tuned carefully in accordance with the right parameters—which fall naturally out of the geometry...
Bogons? Hypothetical particles of cluelessness. Idiots emit bogons, causing machinery to malfunction in their presence. System administrators absorb bogons, letting the machinery work again.
After a few seconds to savor his self-derailment, Derek gets back on course.
A mother’s love—Fuck love, Amber snarls, she wants power.
★★Very strong imagery of conformity versus mold-breaking, concealing conformity disguised as mold-breaking. Ever wondered why Mac users are so glassy-eyed about their boxes?
You can’t learn from a fatal mistake.
Programming is a job where Lovecraft meets tradecraft, all the time.
Over-endowed with WOMBATs. (A WOMBAT is a Waste Of Money, Brains, And Time: the non-IT equivalent of a PEBCAK. (A PEBCAK is a Problem that Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. (You get the picture: it’s...
Money is a symptom of poverty, after all, and Manfred never has to pay for anything.