While some accused and convicted child molesters have inappropriately influenced the media, the public, and many in the clinical and legal professions by claiming that traumatic amnesia does not occur...
We are not our feelings.
It is also open to that vast and mysterious part of us that we call our unconscious. It pays attention to the messages that we receive daily from the unconscious, such as dreams, struggles and illness...
Children from troubled or dysfunctional families grow up not knowing what is normal, healthy or appropriate. Having no other reference point on which to test reality, they think their family and their...
One alternative that nearly always relieves our suffering is surrender: we surrender our false self, and our attachment to the notion that we can control anything.
This lack of awareness of a major source of the family chaos results in extensive, destructive and unnecessary acceptance, as well as self blame and guilt among family members.
They are often in a shame-based system, which attempts to cover over and even destroy the True Self.
It may be subtle in its manifestations, and therefore difficult to identify. The following is a case history of Karen, a 45-year old woman whose parents were co-dependent and through growing up with t...
One alternative that nearly always relieves our suffering is surrender: we surrender our false self, and our attachment to the notion that we can control anything. We suffer when we resist what is. We...
It is hard to learn that life cannot be controlled. Life’s powerful and mysterious process goes on, no matter what we do. Life cannot be controlled because it is far too rich, spontaneous and rambunct...
When guilt is detrimental to our serenity, our peace of mind, and our functioning—including our mental, emotional and spiritual growth—we call it unhealthy guilt. People from troubled or dysfunctional...
Virginia Satir has suggested that we need from four to twelve hugs a day as part of our health maintenance.
A person cannot betray another person’s True Self for long without causing serious damage to the relationship. In order to grow, the Child Within should feel trusted and be able to trust others.
Real Self, True Self, Child Within, Inner Child, Divine Child, and Higher Self. (I capitalize the first letters to show its importance for us in living and to help differentiate it from the false or l...
When we allow ourselves to feel these painful feelings, give them an accurate name, and when we share the grief with safe and supportive others over time, we are able to complete our grief work and th...
Marcus grew up in an alcoholic home. His father was an abusive alcoholic who beat Marcus with a leather belt. At age twelve, Marcus decided that he would never let anyone hurt him again and from that...
2) Beginning to Explore At Level Two we can begin to explore our feelings. Here we may be guarded in sharing our newly found feelings, and they may come out in conversation disguised as ideas and opin...
Furthermore, people like Marcus can over-estimate the degree of threat or mis-read visual cues such as facial expressions, resulting in an inability to modulate emotional pain. Imagine what will happe...
Gravitz and Bowden (1985) describe recovery in their ACoA patients as occurring in six stages: (1) Survival; (2) Emergent Awareness; (3) Core Issues; (4) Transformations; (5) Integration; and (6) Gene...
We don’t have to do anything to be our True Self. It just is. If we simply let it be, it will express itself with no particular effort on our part. Indeed, any effort is usually in denying our awarene...
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