Leslie said that the capacity not to notice a traditional Dutch folk-dancing band walk up behind you was not a survival characteristic in the complex fast-paced world of the modern policing environmen...
Kumar and I ended up stuffing tissue paper up our nostrils, but agreed that if we had to come down again more drastic action would be justified - like amputation.
I’d been warned in advance, so I’d given it some thought. When it was my turn and I stood up and called for life, liberty and peace and managed to sit down before I added a hard-boiled egg to the list...
It’s strictly constables, sergeants, and lunatics. We’ll keep the kettle on for you.
It’s not like me and Lesley are inconspicuous,’ I’d said. Nightingale had winced, as he always does, at my incorrect use of the accusative pronoun but I think I’m beginning to wear him down.
It started at one thirty on a cold Tuesday morning in January when Martin Turner, Street performer and, in his own words, apprentice gigolo, tripped over a body in front of the West Portico of St. Pau...
Inside, it was very dark but I am, if not exactly a master, then definitely an apprentice in the secret arts. And as such I laugh in the face of darkness.
I turned right onto the A410 which went north with suspiciously Roman straightness toward Aymestrey, which is less a village than a diorama of the last six hundred years of English vernacular architec...
I looked into the literature on this, said Nightingale, and it wasn't very helpful.There's a literature about this?You'd be amazed, Constable, about what there's a literature on.
I left in a hurry before he could change his mind, but I want to make it clear that at no point did I break into a skip
I have an idea, I said.This better not be a cunning plan, said Leslie.Nightingale looked blank, but at least it got a chuckle from Dr Walid.
I don’t mind getting drunk, but there always comes a moment in the evening when I find myself watching myself bumping into things and thinking—I’m bored of this, can I have full control of my brain ba...
He farted as I reached the inner door as a sign, I decided, of his respect. Alexander
Fish and chip night was a Kumar family tradition that dated back to when Jaget was courting his wife and they used to meet in the last white English-owned fish and chip shop in Wembley on the basis th...
Don’t get me wrong, I like the countryside. In fact, some of my best friends are geographical features.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, I thought. For they are soggy and hard to light.
Das Leben ist zu kurz, um schlechten Wein zu trinken.- Quoted from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Caratacus suffered the double indignity of being taken to Rome in chains and having an opera written about him by Elgar.
But . . . Dominic floundered around for a bit before pointing at me accusingly. You said that there’s weird shit, but it normally turns out to have a rational explanation. It does, said Beverley. The...
But as the wise man said, life’s too short to drink bad wine. Regret is a terrible vintage.