Map-making had never been a precise art on the Discworld. People tended to start off with good intentions and then get so carried away with the spouting whales, monsters, waves and other twiddly bits...
Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy, said Granny, glaring at the sky. But you can’t make ’em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin’ their he...
I’ve seen excitement, and I’ve seen boredom. And boredom was best.
It’s quite easy to accidentally overhear people talking downstairs if you hold an upturned glass to the floorboards and accidentally put your ear to it.
It's vital to remember who you really are. It's very important. It isn't a good idea to rely on other people or things to do it for you, you see. They always get it wrong.
It was one of the most ancient terrors, the one that meant that no sooner had mankind learned to walk on two legs than it dropped to its knees.
It was nice to think that mankind made a distinction between blowing their planet to bits by accident and doing it by design.
It was destined to be the most impressive kiss in the history of foreplay. The kiss lasted more than fifteen years. Not even frogs can manage that.
It was also a room full of books and made of books. There was no actual furniture; this is to say, the desk and chairs were shaped out of books. It looked as though many of them were frequently referr...
It pays to advertise, Nanny agreed. This is Greebo. Between you and me, he’s a fiend from hell. Well, he’s a cat, said Mrs. Gogol, generously. It’s only to be expected.
It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country, he read. This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.
Inside every lump of coal there's a diamond waiting to get out.
In life, as in breakfast cereal, it is always best to read the instructions on the box.
In fact the Guild, he liked to think, practiced the ultimate democracy. You didn't need intelligence, social position, beauty or charm to hire it. You just needed money which, unlike the other stuff,...
If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.
IN MY EXPERIENCE, SUSAN, WITHIN THEIR HEADS TOO MANY HUMANS SPEND A LOT OF TIME IN THE MIDDLE OF WARS THAT HAPPENED CENTURIES AGO.
I want to eat chocolates in a great big room where the world is a different place.
I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find out what they are good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset t...
I nearly committed a terrible sin, said Brutha. I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day.That's a terrible thing, a terrible thing, said Om. Now cut the melon.
I have certainly noticed that groups of clever and intelligent people are capable of really stupid ideas.