Terry Pratchett Quote

I am a harmless old seller of apples, she said, in a voice more appropriate for the opening of hostilities in a middle-range war. Pray let me past, dearie. The last word had knives in it.No-one must enter the castle, said one of the guards. Orders of the duke.Granny shrugged. The apple-seller gambit had never worked more than once in the entire history of witchcraft, as far as she knew, but it was traditional.I know you, Champett Poldy, she said. I recall I laid out your grandad and I brought you into the world. She glanced at the crowds, which had regathered a little way off, and turned back to the guard, whose face was already a mask of terror. She leaned a little closer, and said, I gave you your first good hiding in this valley of tears and by all the gods if you cross me now I will give you your last.There was a soft metallic noise as the spear fell out of the man's fearful fingers. Granny reached and gave the trembling man a reassuring pat on the shoulder.But don't worry about it, she added. Have an apple.