AtomicQuote

Ted Kavanaugh Quote

It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world of any class or race simply by walking on a stage and uttering the words "I am a married man."

Ted Kavanaugh

It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world of any class or race simply by walking on a stage and uttering the words "I am a married man."

Tags: openers, introductions

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Goldie Hawn is funny sexy beautiful talented intelligent warm and consistently sunny. Other than that she doesn't impress me at all.

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At the end of a long introduction: You omitted perhaps one thing - that in 1974 I had a hemorrhoidectomy.

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Tags: openers, introductions

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm pleased to be with you. (Pause) That concludes my prepared remarks.

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Tags: openers, introductions

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This gathering is what I call "intimate " which really means "Where is everybody?"

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I was chosen to speak due to my warm personality. . . . Look up warm and it means "not so hot."

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Tags: openers, introductions

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn't want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn't remember to people who've already heard them.

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A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn't want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn't remember to people who've already heard them.

Tags: openers, introductions