Sogyal Rinpoche Quote

Let's try an experiment. Pick up a coin. Imagine that it representsthe object at which you are grasping. Hold it tightlyclutched in your fist and extend your arm, with the palm ofyour hand facing the ground. Now if you let go or relax yourgrip, you will lose what you are clinging onto. That's whyyou hold on.But there's another possibility: You can let go and yet keep REFLECTION AND CHANGE 35hold of it. With your arm still outstretched, turn your handover so that it faces the sky. Release your hand and the coinstill rests on your open palm. You let go. And the coin is stillyours, even with all this space around it.So there is a way in which we can accept impermanenceand still relish life, at one and the same time, without grasping.Let us now think of what frequently happens in relationships.So often it is only when people suddenly feel they arelosing their partner that they realize that they love them. Thenthey cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the morethe other person escapes them, and the more fragile their relationshipbecomes.So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursueit is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow.Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that somethingthat will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: Howcan we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it? Howoften attachment is mistaken for love! Even when the relationshipis a good one, love is spoiled by attachment, with itsinsecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love isgone, all you have left to show for it are the souvenirs oflove, the scars of attachment.

Sogyal Rinpoche

Let's try an experiment. Pick up a coin. Imagine that it representsthe object at which you are grasping. Hold it tightlyclutched in your fist and extend your arm, with the palm ofyour hand facing the ground. Now if you let go or relax yourgrip, you will lose what you are clinging onto. That's whyyou hold on.But there's another possibility: You can let go and yet keep REFLECTION AND CHANGE 35hold of it. With your arm still outstretched, turn your handover so that it faces the sky. Release your hand and the coinstill rests on your open palm. You let go. And the coin is stillyours, even with all this space around it.So there is a way in which we can accept impermanenceand still relish life, at one and the same time, without grasping.Let us now think of what frequently happens in relationships.So often it is only when people suddenly feel they arelosing their partner that they realize that they love them. Thenthey cling on even tighter. But the more they grasp, the morethe other person escapes them, and the more fragile their relationshipbecomes.So often we want happiness, but the very way we pursueit is so clumsy and unskillful that it brings only more sorrow.Usually we assume we must grasp in order to have that somethingthat will ensure our happiness. We ask ourselves: Howcan we possibly enjoy anything if we cannot own it? Howoften attachment is mistaken for love! Even when the relationshipis a good one, love is spoiled by attachment, with itsinsecurity, possessiveness, and pride; and then when love isgone, all you have left to show for it are the souvenirs oflove, the scars of attachment.

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About Sogyal Rinpoche

Sogyal Rinpoche (Tibetan: བསོད་རྒྱལ་, Wylie: Bsod-rgyal; 1947 – 28 August 2019) was a Tibetan Dzogchen lama. He was recognized as the incarnation of a Tibetan master and visionary saint of the 19th century, Tertön Sogyal Lerab Lingpa. Sogyal Rinpoche was the founder and former spiritual director of Rigpa — an international network of over 100 Buddhist centres and groups in 23 countries around the world — and the author of the best-selling book The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, which has been printed in 30 languages and 56 countries. Before his retirement, in the wake of abuse allegations in 2017, he had been teaching for 40 years in Europe, America, Asia and Australia.Sogyal Rinpoche had been accused of sexual and physical assault and abuse, as well as misusing charitable funds, with allegations stretching back to the 1970s. In 2017, Rigpa announced these allegations would be investigated by an outside party and a report has now been published, upholding most of the allegations. Sogyal Rinpoche did not respond to the report but stated that "I am clear in my own mind that I have never, ever, acted towards anyone with a motive of selfish gain or harmful intent."