Money problems can always be solved by a man not frightened by them.
Mmm, one does have to learn to look at art. But it’s up to the artist to use language that can be understood. Most of these jokers don’t want to use language you and I can learn; they would rather sne...
Matt, you are suffering from a disease of youth—you expect moral problems to have nice, neat, black-and-white answers.
I’ve never understood how God could expect his creatures to pick the one true religion by faith—it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe.
I’ve been kissed by men who did a very good job. But they don’t give kissing their whole attention. They can’t. No matter how hard they try parts of their minds are on something else. Missing the last...
Its very variety, subtlety, and utterly irrational, idiomatic complexity makes it possible to say things in English which simply cannot be said in any other language.
It took you long enough to answer your phone. It’s my phone, Mr. Secretary. Sometimes I don’t answer it at all.
It is not nonsense and nobody asked you; you aren’t competent to have an opinion about it.
In terms of morals there is no such thing as ‘state.’ Just men. Individuals. Each responsible for his own acts.
If you’re not too busy this evening, why don’t you bring your soft shoes and your pads over to officers’ row and we’ll go waltzing Matilda? Say about eight o’clock. Yes, sir. That’s not an order, that...
If it has to be done, a man—a real man—shoots his own dog himself; he doesn’t hire a proxy who may bungle it.
If I had had any sense, I'd have quit and taken a working job. The only trouble with that would be that I wouldn't have been working for the Old Man any longer. That made the difference. Not that he w...
If I don’t start having service I’m going to swap you all for a dog and shoot the dog.
If I choose to dine with publicans and sinners, that is my business. But I do not choose to break bread with Pharisees.
I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.
I'm too much old-timer to be rude to a woman no matter what - they have so much of what we have none of.
I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I a...
I tried to dig out of the computer a call directory for Luna. But it was still sulking. I could not get it to list its own directory. So I tried some test problems on it. It insisted that 2 + 2 = 3.99...
I suspect that there are just two sorts of lawyers: those who spend their efforts making life easy for other people—and parasites.
I scrolled on down to the obituaries. I usually read the obituaries first as there is always the happy chance that one of them will make my day.