P.G. Wodehouse Quotes

I simply said he was a detective, and let it go at that, I should be obtaining the reader's interest under false pretences. He was really only a sort of detective, a species of sleuth. At Stafford's I...

I went into the kitchen ten minutes back. The cat was sitting on the mat. Beale's narrative style closely resembled that of a certain book I had read in my infancy. I wish I could remember its title....

I'm a bit short on brain myself; the old bean would appear to have been constructed more for ornament than for use, don't you know; but give me five minutes to talk the thing over with Jeeves, and I'm...

I'm bound to say I was not feeling entirely at my ease. There is something about the man that is calculated to strike terror into the stoutest heart. If ever there was a bloke at the very mention of w...

I've been through a bad time, Bertie, these last weeks. The sun ceased to shine - That's curious. We've had gorgeous weather in London.The birds ceased to sing.What birds?What the devil does it matter...

If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know.

In a cozy corner of the electric flame department of the infernal regions there stands a little silver gridiron. It is the private property of his Satanic majesty, and is reserved exclusively for the...

In these disturbed days in which we live, it has probably occurred to all thinking men that something drastic ought to be done about aunts. Speaking for myself, I have long felt that stones should be...

It is never difficult to distinguish between with a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

It seems to be one of Nature’s laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractive brothers. Fillmore Nicholas had not worn well. At the age of seven he had been an extraordinarily be...

It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was...

It was all Mrs. Waddington could do to refrain from hurling a bust of Edgar Allan Poe at her head.

It's a hell for the poor, in New York. An iron, grinding city. It frightens you. It's so big and hard and cruel. It takes the fight out of you.

It's a mystery to me how kidnappers ever get caught.

I’m not much of a ladies’ man, but on this particular morning it seemed to me that what I really wanted was some charming girl to buzz up and ask me to save her from assassins or something.

Jeeves,' I said - and I am not ashamed to confess that there was a spot of chokiness in the voice - 'there is none like you, none.

Jeeves’ eyes had taken on the look of cautious reserve which you see in those of parrots, when offered half a banana by a stranger of whose bona fides they are not convinced.

Just as you say, sir. There is a letter on the tray, sir.By Jove, Jeeves, that was practically potry. Rhymed, did you notice?

Lady Kimbuck's eyes gleamed. She took the package eagerly. She never lost an opportunity of reading compromising letters. She enjoyed them as literature, and there was never any knowing when they migh...

Like most people who have made a defiant and dramatic gesture and then have leisure to reflect, he was oppressed by a feeling that he had gone considerably farther than was prudent. Samson, as he hear...