When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy.
I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married.
Get high on love, not drugs.
If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man.
Wisdom of the Ages: "President's Day" One allowed the Federal Reserve and one got lead. One got a city and the other got dead.
If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores.
Boys are raw materials that women manufacture into products called men.
The easiest way to be the prettiest girl at a party is to rig the guest list.
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
She complains that I'm lazy, but I just like to save my energy for dinner.
Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you.