Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper—it solves a problem and makes things more acceptable for a while.
Instead of being regarded as intelligent or knowledgeable, many a woman would rather be regarded as beautiful or good in the kitchen; many a man, as handsome or good in bed.
God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things.
The nights were mainly made for saying things you can't say tomorrow day.
The best thing you can wear is self confidence.
Five enemies of peace inhabit with us - avarice, ambition, envy, anger, and pride if these were to be banished, we should infallibly enjoy perpetual peace.
I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'
Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.
I don't have a lot of patience for stories in which women are rescued by men.
A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.
Focus your attention on the quality of your words, and not the quantity, because few sensible talks attracts millions of listeners more than a thousand gibberish.