How come God has to make it so tough for you? We must not question His ways, Ignatius said. Maybe not, but I still don’t get it. The writings of Boethius may give you some insight. I read Father Kelle...
Go dangle your withered parts over the toilet!' Ignatius screamed savagely.
Clean, hard-working, dependable, quiet type.' Good God! What kind of monster is this that they want. I am afraid that I could never work for a concern with a worldview like that.
Canned food is a perversion,' Ignatius said. 'I suspect that it is ultimately very damaging to the soul.
'How old is he?' the policeman asked Mrs. Reilly. 'I am thirty,' Ignatius said condescendingly. 'You got a job?' 'Ignatius hasta help me at home,' Mrs. Reilly said. Her initial courage wa...
You must realize the fear and hatred which my instills in people.
When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip
What is your opinion of a society that considers Turkey in the Straw to be one of the pillars, as it were, of its culture?
This was the sort of girl who should be attending college, not ones like that dreadful Minkoff girl, that brutal and slovenly girl who had almost been raped by one of the janitors just outside of his...
This is clearly a case for the Civil Liberties Union, Ignatius observed, squeezing his mother’s drooping shoulder with the paw. We must contact Myrna Minkoff, my lost love. She knows about those thing...
This had been a very productive morning, he thought. He had not accomplished so much in weeks. Looking at the Big Chief tablets that made a rug of Indian headdresses around the bed, Ignatius thought s...
She went up to his bedroom door and listened to the wildly twanging bed springs as they reached a crescendo as they built toward a finale worthy of Grieg's 'In the Hall of the Mountain King
She appears to have been knocked a bit in her life already. Up rather than down. If she ever nears me, however, the direction will be reversed.
Over the years I have become very good at getting out of things I don’t want to do. And if ever there was something I didn’t want to do, this was surely it: to deal with the mother of a dead novelist...
Once in high school someone had shown him a pornographic photograph, and he had collapsed against a watercooler, injuring his ear. This photograph was far superior.
My life is a rather grim one. One day I shall perhaps describe it to you in great detail.
My excellence confused them
Mercaderes y charlatanes se hicieron con el control de Europa, llamando a su insidioso evangelio La Ilustración. El día de la plaga estaba próximo; pero de las cenizas de la humanidad no surgió ningún...
Like a bitch in heat, I seem to attract a coterie of policemen and sanitation officials.
It's not your fate to be well treated, Ignatius cried. You're an overt masochist. Nice treatment will confuse and destroy you.