“ What if it’s a shy fish? Is that a 'coy koi?' What? Don’t hate me because I’m asking the important questions. Elle Lothlorien
“ Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait—is that not what we’re talking about here? Elle Lothlorien
“ Did you forget a dentist appointment or something, big guy? Where the hell did you hop off to? Elle Lothlorien
“ This is from the queen? And you say it’s for a mouse? I’m sorry, sir, but the Pyramid Hotel doesn’t allow any pets except for service animals. Elle Lothlorien
“ Okay then, I suppose you get a pass on poker intimidation for the glasses, little brother. But everyone else is wearing them at the tables too, and they’re all just sitting there, looking all serious,… Elle Lothlorien
“ Speaking of your eyeballs, dear brother,I overheard some girls talking about you in the restroom at the tournament hotel. Apparently rumor now has it that you won’t allow anyone to see your eyes—ever.… Elle Lothlorien
“ After one and a half cocktails, finding the appropriate response is a bit of a challenge. I finally say, 'Thank you for inviting me,' and leave the less desirable 'Want to play strip poker?' in the un… Elle Lothlorien
“ Did the Ancient Greeks ever write anything funny—like slapstick? I mean, I think I speak for everyone when I say that there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of well-written physical comedy. Elle Lothlorien
“ In any other fabric of space-time, my brother would have picked up Dee’s venereal disease-infested koala punt and run it straight down the line of vulgarity, all the way to the touchdown of tastelessn… Elle Lothlorien
“ I hear they’re all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can’t tell who’s got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala…tell me you’re not shocked. Elle Lothlorien
“ Fun fact: You may hug koalas in the Australian state of New South Wales, but not in Queensland. So…if you didn’t hug your koala nice and tight before you got here to Sydney, you’re going to be shit ou… Elle Lothlorien
“ Okay, so English settlers brought rabbits with them to Australia to breed for food and stuff, right? But they escaped and basically started destroying the country, eating the vegetation, that kind of… Elle Lothlorien
“ Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you ‘Alice,’ me and Dee call you ‘Faye.’ I just didn’t know if ‘Alice’ was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I’m just trying to fit in here… Elle Lothlorien
“ Well then, I guess I’m man enough to admit that I’m trying to get in touch with my inner bitch. Elle Lothlorien
“ I’m not sure a real man would smoke something that sounds like a mixed drink ice cream cone. Elle Lothlorien
“ You’re in the country of the kangaroo and the duck-billed platypus, and you’re asking ‘why is it a mushroom? Because it just IS. Elle Lothlorien
“ I am commanding you, as an older and wiser brother, to get over here, get on this caterpillar, and ride to the top of this mushroom with me. Elle Lothlorien
“ Well, the gondola operator—whose name was ‘Happy,’ I might add—failed to inform me that about sixty seconds into the trip, the floor under the section of car I was standing on was going to slide away.… Elle Lothlorien
“ Let’s put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn’t bringing you… Elle Lothlorien
