How to Leave the Planet1. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it’s very important that you get away as soon as possible.2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may...
How do you feel? he asked him.Like a military academy, said Arthur. Bits of me keep on passing out.
He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn’t stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on...
Goosnargh, said Ford Prefect, which was a special Betelgeusian word he used when he knew he should say something but didn't know what it should be.
Fiordland, a vast tract of mountainous terrain that occupies the south-west corner of South Island, New Zealand, is one of the most astounding pieces of land anywhere on God's earth, and one's first i...
Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else becomes eerily easy.
Dirk turned on the car wipers, which grumbled because they didn't have quite enough rain to wipe away, so he turned them off again. Rain quickly speckled the windscreen. He turned on the wipers again,...
Did I do anything wrong today, he said, or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice?
Deep in the rain forest it was doing what it usually does in rain forests, which was raining: hence the name.
Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button?Ford Prefect: I wouldn't-Arthur Dent: Oh.Ford Prefect: What happened?Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again.
And what’s happened to the Earth? Ah. It’s been demolished. Has it, said Arthur levelly. Yes. It just boiled away into space. Look, said Arthur, I’m a bit upset about that.
A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted bac...
A computer chatted to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason.This was because Reason was in fact out to lunch.
These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings.
The storm had now definitely abated, and what thunder there was now grumbled over more distant hills, like a man saying 'And another thing...' twenty minutes after admitting he'd lost the argument.
Rather than arriving five hours late and flustered, it would be better all around if he were to arrive five hours and a few extra minutes late, but triumphantly in command.
On the delivery plate of the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer was a small tray, on which say three bone china cups and saucers, a bone china jug of milk, a silver teapot full of the best tea Arthur had e...
Not only is it a wholly remarkable book, it is also a highly successful one – more popular than the Celestial Home Care Omnibus, better selling than Fifty-three More Things to do in Zero Gravity, and...
Nobody likes a whistler, particularly not the divinity that shapes our ends.
Nobody got murdered before lunch. But nobody. People weren't up to it. You needed a good lunch to get both the blood-sugar and blood-lust levels up.