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Demetri Martin Quote

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Demetri Martin

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

Tags: funny, great, technology, digital, camera

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I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'

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I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is 'In 15 minutes everybody will be famous.'

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I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.

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I once took a poo in the woods while hunched over like an animal. It was AWESOME.

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Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

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Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

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It was an emergency!" Seth blurted. "Read my lips - emergency reading - not some demented idea of fun. If I was starving, I would eat asparagus. If somebody held a gun to my head, I would watch a soap...

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It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

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It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

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There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

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There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

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The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...

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The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily mean that he or she does not love you. And the fact that you are the only p...

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Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

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Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

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Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

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Even so have I given the womb of the earth to those that be sown in it in their times.

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It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

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It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

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About Demetri Martin

Demetri Evan Martin (Greek: Δημήτριος Ευάγγελος Μάρτιν, Dimitrios Evangelos Martin; born May 25, 1973) is an American comedian, actor, writer, director, cartoonist and musician. He was a contributor on The Daily Show. In stand-up, he is known for his deadpan delivery, playing his guitar for jokes, and his satirical cartoons. He starred as Ice Bear in Cartoon Network's We Bare Bears.