Because if there’s one thing worse than an IT manager who’s feeling the chill wind of obsolescence blowing down his neck and consequently trying to contribute code to the repository like an actual wor...
Any sufficiently advanced lingerie is indistinguishable from a lethal weapon.
And rumor has it that the Central Ammunition Depot hanging off Box Tunnel still contains two thousand barrels of iron-tipped English longbow arrows, in case it becomes urgently necessary to re-fight t...
And because my employers agree with me, and they’re the government, you’re outvoted.
All men are islands, surrounded by the bottomless oceans of unthinking night.
Computers aren’t as powerful as most people think; running even a small and rather stupid intern can really bog down a server.)
Americans think we Brits drink tea because we’re polite and genteel or something, whereas we really drink it because it’s a stimulant and it’s hot enough to sterilize cholera bacteria.)
You’ve got to learn to think like a state if you work in the Civil Service. Organizations are not human beings and they don’t obey the same priorities. They’re hives.
When it isn’t spending half its energy scanning for viruses or painting a pretty drop-shadow under the mouse pointer it runs like greased whippet shit.
The defense establishment of the United States of America is so complicated, not to say baroque, that many different agencies can accomplish any given task. Want to invade a small Caribbean island? Wh...
Ever since that time of unbound paranoia the one unbreakable law of the British secret services has been: Thou shalt not snoop on Number Ten. Because we are not in the business of generating policy—it...
You win some, you lose some. And when you lose, you have to pull yourself together and go back for more. Otherwise, the other side wins by default.
You take after your dad, a high-functioning sociopath with an incurable organic personality disorder. It’s one of the special-sauce variety, the kind with a known genetic cause. Your uncle Albert was...
You have imposter syndrome, He says, but paradoxically, that’s often a sign of competence. Only people who understand their work well enough to be intimidated by it can be terrified by their own ignor...
Yippee. I haven’t had this much fun since I was in the Transhuman Police, mixing it up with superpowered neo-Nazis, and by fun I mean fuck me I demand a pay rise and a nice quiet office job—
When they first developed the organs of exploration, there was no there there. So they built timid, stupid machines and hurled them into the airless void to report back. Then they built idiot phone ex...
What are the consequences when the government, the media, and the leaders of commerce all speak with one voice? Why, it means that if you hold opinions other than the ones you are told to, you are out...
Twas the night before Christmas, the office was closed,The transom was shut, the staff home in repose;The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,But St. Nicholas won’t be coming because this is...
This is serious business: you’re representing the Laundry in front of the Black Chamber and some very big defence contractors, old school tie and all that.I went to North Harrow Comprehensive, I sat w...
This is a joke. Right? I’m pointing at the green-screen terminal on the desk, and the huge dial-infested rotary phone beside it.No sir. Bill clears his throat. Unfortunately the NDO’s office budget wa...