'Crazy-busy' is a great armor, it's a great way for numbing. What a lot of us do is that we stay so busy, and so out in front of our life, that the truth of how we're feeling and what we really need c...
Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.
Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it—it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. The most dangerous thing to do after a shaming experien...
A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are n...
Oprah. Her advice is tacked to the wall in my study: Do not think you can be brave with your life and your work and never disappoint anyone. It doesn’t work that way.
Connection: Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment. Belonging: Belonging is the innate human de...
Guilt is just as powerful, but its influence is positive, while shame's is destructive. Shame erodes our courage and fuels disengagement.
Joy seems to me a step beyond happiness. Happiness is a sort of atmosphere you can live in sometimes when you’re lucky. Joy is a light that fills you with hope and faith and love.
In his book The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk, a professor of psychiatry at Boston University, explores how trauma literally reshapes the brain and the body, and how interventions that ena...
I can encourage my daughter to love her body, but what really matters are the observations she makes about my relationship with my own body.
We have to find our way back to one another or fear wins.
Quick and dirty wins the race. Perfection is the enemy of done. Good enough is really effin’ good.
Perfectionism is self destructive simply because there's no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.
How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don't value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?
Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth it's a shield.
You're imperfect, and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.
Until we can tolerate vulnerability and transform it into gratitude, intense feelings of love will often bring up the fear of loss.
I took a deep breath and recited my vulnerability prayer as I waited for my turn: Give me the courage to show up and let myself be seen. Then, seconds before I was introduced, I thought about a paperw...
Hope is really a thought.
Dr. Kristin Neff is a researcher and professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She runs the Self-Compassion Research Lab, where she studies how we develop and practice self-compassion. According...