A big advantage of being bald is that you can style your hair with a damp cloth.
From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties And things that go bump in the night good Lord deliver us!
"So you want to become my son-in-law." "Not exactly. I just want to marry your daughter."
Set about doing good to somebody. Put on your hat and go and visit the sick and poor of your neighborhood inquire into their circumstances and minister to their wants. Seek out the desolate and affli...
I get my exercise being a pallbearer for those of my friends who believed in regular running and calisthenics.
God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things that are mighty.
Friends are folks who excuse you when you have made a fool of yourself.
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who come into a room and say "Here I am!" and those who come in and say "Oh there you are."
The best rule of friendship is to keep your heart a little softer than your head.
To have a good friend is one of the highest delights of life to be a good friend is one of the noblest and most difficult undertakings.
Sis I've been wondering . . . On my birthday mom always gives me five thousand dollars. How much does she give you?
One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.
Boy handing over his report card: Of course I seem stupid to my teachers . . . they're all college graduates.
The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away blessed be the name of the Lord.
Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.
I am an atheist thank God!
There is little serenity comparable to the serenity of the inexperienced giving advice to the experienced.
A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant.
Here, there's no anger, no loss, not even fear. When he's battling, everything has a crystal clarity, just action and reaction.