Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever.
What I do I do very well and what I don't do well I don't do at all.
If you walk just walk. If you sit just sit. But whatever you do don't wobble.
Professional life is like a fire hydrant. You spend all of your time putting out fires and standing your ground against the big dogs.
Party honesty is party expediency.
As one skeleton said to the other - if I had any guts I'd get the heck out of here.
When I told her we were going to roast her she said "Of course . . . they only crucify the innocent."
As my mother used to say: "Mimic a duck act calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like crazy underneath."
It is with enterprises as with striking fire we do not meet with success except with reiterated efforts and often at the instant when we despaired of success.
Definition of Father's Day: Same as Mother's Day but you don't spend as much.
It's easy enough to be pleasant when everything goes like a song but the man who is worthwhile is the man who can smile when everything goes dead wrong.
His voice is to entertainment what the kazoo is to classical music.
He who would do good to another must do it in minute particulars.
A wise man cares not for what he cannot have.
You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without.
If you are ashamed to stand by your colors you had better seek another flag.
If your lips would keep from slips five things observe with care: To whom you speak of whom you speak And how and when and where.
How sleep the brave who sink to rest By all their country's wishes blest!
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
Age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill.