Great awakenings did not happen because of the crowds but the committed few.
We all have things in our lives we wish we could change and mistakes we have made, but these do not define us. Let the one who created you and who redeemed you be the one who defines you.
Jesus also told us to keep his commands not out of fear of his wrath, but so that our joy would be made full (John 15:10–11 ESV).